Dear LMM,You say that you are alone and that you wish you had more friends and fulfilling relationships. Yet when I as your roommate invite you places you always decline, and when I attempt to have a conversation with you, you are always on your phone or on your computer. What you should know is that you are the captain of your ship and the master of your fate, and the effort you put into something is what you get out of it. So if you are lonely it is because you are committing habitual actions that advance your lonely predicament. You have traded human interaction for technological interaction. So I say it is your fault. If you want to build satisfying relationships, avert your eyes from your cell phone screen and look into the eyes of another human being or notice the vibrancy of the world around you, not the vibrancy of your cellphone or computer screen.While you were on your computer you missed the chance to develop a friendship. While you were on your phone, you failed to notice that the leaves changed colors. While you were on your phone, you did not get the chance to see the beautiful child smile at you. While you were on your computer all day, you did not see the color of the sky. When you were walking while on your phone, you did not see that pole that was right in front of you!! While you were on twitter, you did not notice your friend was feeling down and needed you. While you were on your Instagram, you did not notice the time fly by, the hours that passed. You say you feel unfulfilled, but you are always on the computer, on your phone, on social media instead of enjoying the life around you wholeheartedly with vigor, passion and attention. What I suggest is that you make a conscious effort to interact with the world and the people around you because what you are looking for is right in front of you but hidden by your phone screen.Sincerely,
LMM
This is a letter that I wrote… However, it wasn't written to myself at first. Let me explain:
One morning I was sitting at the table with my roommate. She was on
her cell phone and mine was on the table. I began asking her questions and
speaking about recent events, ultimately attempting to have a conversation with
her. Conversations are usually supposed to be a two-way street: reactions,
responses, opinions and comments from two or more sides. All I received from
her were minimal-worded responses while she was engaged on her phone. I was literally looking at her for the longest time, basically staring at her and she never noticed!
This is typically how she is, so I was not surprised. However, I did get a little irritated. Every now and then we have a decent
conversation, short but decent. In one of our recent conversations about our goals for this new year she told me that she
was not used to being alone and that she would have to get used to it (she is a
transfer student, and so it has been difficult for her to find friends). She
longs for more human interaction.
This is why I got irritated that morning, because she
longs for more interaction and yet… she does not fully engage and interact with others!! So I
got inspired to write about our so-called interaction or the lack thereof. So I
addressed my roommate through a letter, and wrote about this topic of technology and social
media. But then I realized that perhaps I was being hypocritical because I know
there are times when I act in the same way. So I decided to address this letter
to myself. From this interaction with my roommate I learned a lot, or rather I had
a great realization that I will further explain.
I’d like to first start off by saying that I fully support
technology and the advances it has given our society. It is truly amazing and
very beneficial to the workings and to the efficiency of our world. The use
of technology is inevitable in this time. We use it to stay in contact with
people and to get things done, as I am using a computer to write this blog
post. However, this post is a speculation or a realization of the downside of
technology. Furthermore you all need to know that this is a directed speculation of the effects of technology. So, I am going to be using the word “Technology”
specifically; I use it interchangeably with phone use, computer use, and
social media.
Technology is a shield with which we use to protect
ourselves from life. We use it to avoid facing what is right in front of us,
whether it is a circumstance or another human being. I think many of us are subconsciously
insecure in some way which is why we unconsciously hide behind technology. How
many of us when we are with our friends are on our phones? How many of us get
on our phones when a situation gets a little awkward, or when we get nervous
around someone? How many of us are on social media procrastinating instead of completing a task that has to be done? Instead of facing others or facing a situation, we turn to
technology to save us.
Technology saves us from vulnerability in the sense that
is protects us from having to show who we really are to the world which can be
a nerve-racking experience. Instead, we have an excuse: we are on our phones or
computers, ultimately too occupied to pay attention to what is in our faces.
Instead of devoting our attention to the idiosyncrasies of another, we devote
our attention to the fake, promoted and edified lives of others on social media. In doing so, we lose out on the opportunity of building fulfilling
relationships because we skip the part where we take the time to truly get to
know and acknowledge another, as well as taking this same chance away from someone else to get to know us. Not only this, but we lose out on the simple
joys of life.
To truly enjoy life we are required to be in the present
moment. This is made difficult when we are always on some form of social media.
We look at and watch the lives of others instead of living our own lives, and
even more so we spend so much time making our own lives seem amazing than actually making it amazing. When we get that one glorious moment, we post it on Facebook making it seem like
that is how we always live in real life. On social media a lot of people promote
a contrived, hyped up life-style that they only live probably about 20% of the
time (I know I have done this). This may often cause us to long for more in life or to be somewhere other
than where we are- not to be in the present moment. On the other hand, not all people on
social media promote contrived lifestyles; some people actually do live fun, happy, glorious,
abundant and prosperous lives. But why are we watching these people live these
wonderful lifestyles instead of going out and living them ourselves!?!
To live
a fulfilled life is to be present and in the moment, to be active and
attentive. I’m sure that we shine the brightest and enjoy ourselves the most
when we give our efforts and attention to others, to tasks and to what is
around us, not to social media. I have realized that when I am on social media, I am typically bored
and the times when I feel the most alive are when I give my full attention to my friends and family or to those I am meeting
for the first time. Instead of avoiding the awkward moments by looking on Facebook, it
is more enjoyable if we acknowledge these moments and act to make them more
enjoyable.
So with these realizations I call all of us to action. Let
us have the courage to face and acknowledge what is right in front of us. Let
us not be lazy in our interactions with others and with the world around us. Let
us consciously find depth and mean in what and who surrounds us. Let us be
present and create life in the moment and not just in our phones and computer
screens.
Oh and readers don’t forget… YOU ARE ALIVE TO THRIVE!!
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