Lemon Moraine Pie: The Last Wish of a Dying Man

The other day at work I conversed with a man. We spoke about food since he was waiting while I prepared the food samples. He excitedly explained how his mom made the best lemon moraine pie. He and his father loved it when his mom made the pie and often asked her to prepare it. Apparently it was so good that the man’s father asked for his wife to make the pie while he was on his deathbed.Upon his request, the man’s mom rushed home to make the pie. She tried to prepare it as quickly as possible because she knew that her husband had little time to live. She baked the pie quickly but with care. She then rushed back over to the hospital, parked the car and dashed through the hallways to the hospital room to give her husband his dying wish.  However, he never got to eat the pie... He died before she could get it to him.

The man said that until this day, his mom still regrets not being able to get the pie to her husband in time; she has not forgiven herself. Her husband had been asking her to make pie for months, but she never felt like it, and she never did. When she finally did make it however, it was too late.

Lesson learned:

This story really hit me emotionally because it demonstrates how life is short and unpredictable, which is why we should never take for granted or skip the chance to love, to show love and to serve our loved ones. Don’t miss the opportunity to tell someone you love them, don’t miss the opportunity to perform an act of kindness, don’t miss the chance to spend time with those you love, and don’t take for granted the time your loved ones have here on Earth. That one moment where you refrained from showing your love may just be your last chance. Don’t do away with simple acts of kindness. Don’t miss the opportunity to do even the smallest, most simple actions, because these actions may mean the world to someone who loves you.

Yes, it may often be inconvenient to spend time doing kind things for those we love, but this inconvenience is wherein love lays. When we direct our thoughts and attention towards the happiness of someone else, when we direct our efforts towards the happiness of someone else, and most importantly, when we put forth our time towards the happiness of someone else, it is a true expression of love; it is love. Love is many things: humility, understanding,  respect, caring, passion, compassion, support, friendship, partnership and faith. But love is also sacrifice.

Sacrifice is not negative in the name of true, sincere love, particularly when the sacrifice is equally shared. To give of yourself to another and he/she to you is the most freeing, transcending and uplifting opportunity we have here on this Earth today. So please, don’t miss the chance to express your love to your loved ones because you never know if this moment will be your last opportunity to do so.  

And remember, YOU ARE ALIVE TO THRIVE!!      

Agents of Love

If a child is born out of what we call “making love,” then we as beings are all love. Love is what makes the world go around. Love is what progresses, not just the human race, but all life. Love is the life force. It is love that is in faith, it is love that is in giving, it is love in protection, it is love in help, it is love in laughter, it is love in a smile, it is love that we seek, and it is love that we need to survive and to thrive. It is love that we are.

Many say the opposite of love is hate, and though this may be true, I think Love’s true enemy is fear. It is fear that brings war, it is fear that brings murder, it is fear that influences crime, it is fear that sparks violence, it is fear that leads to dishonesty, it is fear that influences selfishness, and it is fear that influences hate. We are all built for survival, and when we feel that survival is threatened, we have fear, and this fear may breed worry, stress, anger and hatred. Fear is the absence or the denial of faith. There is love in faith, so when we hold fear and hatred in our hearts, we are denying our potential for love. Love, and the lack of it, is so important because it shapes our lives, it shapes our environments, it shapes our results, it shapes our actions, it shapes our words. Love ultimately shapes our world, and it even shapes the people around us. 

With this being understood, the key to life is to give love and to be love. We must find love in our environments. We must find love in our family and friends. We must remember to love ourselves or else we will be incapable of truly loving anyone else. We must do what we love, something that ignites a vigorous passion within us, something that makes us excited to get out of bed every morning. By doing this we will add a great service to the world by inspiring others through our energy and good spirit. We must speak love to ourselves and to those who we love because words truly do have power; remember that life and death is in the tongue. Say something often enough and it becomes a belief.  We also must give willingly and unsparingly to those who need it without expecting anything in return; by simply giving to others we will receive a gift so powerful, a gift beyond measure.

When life hits us hard or when someone brings us to anger, let us not act out of fear or hate. Instead let us discipline ourselves to act out of love. When we find ourselves thinking negatively, we should replace that negative thought with two or more positive ones. When we open our mouths to speak ill of someone or something, let us catch ourselves and turn that negative statement into a positive one. When someone has done wrong by us or a loved one, let us not wish ill upon them, but instead hope and pray for their healing and growth. When times are hard, let us not get defeated and give up, let us power through with resilience and faith to carry us. When someone else is in need, let us not turn the other cheek because there likely was and probably will be a point when we need help, too. Let us act with kindness, sympathy, empathy and compassion towards others because we are all going through the human experience no matter what race, background or environment we come from. Let us not act only as individuals but also as a cohesive unit because no one can succeed alone, and no one wants to be alone. Let’s rid ourselves of the plagues of division and act instead in unison. Let us all act together in love and as agents of love.

Remember, YOU are ALIVE TO THRIVE!!!

A Society that Hides behind Technology and Social Media

Dear LMM,

          You say that you are alone and that you wish you had more friends and fulfilling relationships. Yet when I as your roommate invite you places you always decline, and when I attempt to have a conversation with you, you are always on your phone or on your computer. What you should know is that you are the captain of your ship and the master of your fate, and the effort you put into something is what you get out of it. So if you are lonely it is because you are committing habitual actions that advance your lonely predicament. You have traded human interaction for technological interaction. So I say it is your fault. If you want to build satisfying relationships, avert your eyes from your cell phone screen and look into the eyes of another human being or notice the vibrancy of the world around you, not the vibrancy of your cellphone or computer screen.

          While you were on your computer you missed the chance to develop a friendship. While you were on your phone, you failed to notice that the leaves changed colors. While you were on your phone, you did not get the chance to see the beautiful child smile at you. While you were on your computer all day, you did not see the color of the sky. When you were walking while on your phone, you did not see that pole that was right in front of you!! While you were on twitter, you did not notice your friend was feeling down and needed you. While you were on your Instagram, you did not notice the time fly by, the hours that passed. You say you feel unfulfilled, but you are always on the computer, on your phone, on social media instead of enjoying the life around you wholeheartedly with vigor, passion and attention. What I suggest is that you make a conscious effort to interact with the world and the people around you because what you are looking for is right in front of you but hidden by your phone screen.

Sincerely, 

LMM

This is a letter that I wrote… However, it wasn't written to myself at first. Let me explain: 

One morning I was sitting at the table with my roommate. She was on her cell phone and mine was on the table. I began asking her questions and speaking about recent events, ultimately attempting to have a conversation with her. Conversations are usually supposed to be a two-way street: reactions, responses, opinions and comments from two or more sides. All I received from her were minimal-worded responses while she was engaged on her phone. I was literally looking at her for the longest time, basically staring at her and she never noticed!

This is typically how she is, so I was not surprised.  However, I did get a little irritated. Every now and then we have a decent conversation, short but decent. In one of our recent conversations about our goals for this new year she told me that she was not used to being alone and that she would have to get used to it (she is a transfer student, and so it has been difficult for her to find friends). She longs for more human interaction. 

This is why I got irritated that morning, because she longs for more interaction and yet… she does not fully engage and interact with others!! So I got inspired to write about our so-called interaction or the lack thereof. So I addressed my roommate through a letter, and wrote about this topic of technology and social media. But then I realized that perhaps I was being hypocritical because I know there are times when I act in the same way. So I decided to address this letter to myself. From this interaction with my roommate I learned a lot, or rather I had a great realization that I will further explain.

I’d like to first start off by saying that I fully support technology and the advances it has given our society. It is truly amazing and very beneficial to the workings and to the efficiency of our world. The use of technology is inevitable in this time. We use it to stay in contact with people and to get things done, as I am using a computer to write this blog post. However, this post is a speculation or a realization of the downside of technology. Furthermore you all need to know that this is a directed speculation of the effects of technology. So, I am going to be using the word “Technology” specifically; I use it interchangeably with phone use, computer use, and social media.

Technology is a shield with which we use to protect ourselves from life. We use it to avoid facing what is right in front of us, whether it is a circumstance or another human being. I think many of us are subconsciously insecure in some way which is why we unconsciously hide behind technology. How many of us when we are with our friends are on our phones? How many of us get on our phones when a situation gets a little awkward, or when we get nervous around someone? How many of us are on social media procrastinating instead of completing a task that has to be done? Instead of facing others or facing a situation, we turn to technology to save us. 

Technology saves us from vulnerability in the sense that is protects us from having to show who we really are to the world which can be a nerve-racking experience. Instead, we have an excuse: we are on our phones or computers, ultimately too occupied to pay attention to what is in our faces. Instead of devoting our attention to the idiosyncrasies of another, we devote our attention to the fake, promoted and edified lives of others on social media. In doing so, we lose out on the opportunity of building fulfilling relationships because we skip the part where we take the time to truly get to know and acknowledge another, as well as taking this same chance away from someone else to get to know us. Not only this, but we lose out on the simple joys of life.

To truly enjoy life we are required to be in the present moment. This is made difficult when we are always on some form of social media. We look at and watch the lives of others instead of living our own lives, and  even more so we spend so much time making our own lives seem amazing than actually making it amazing. When we get that one glorious moment, we post it on Facebook making it seem like that is how we always live in real life. On social media a lot of people promote a contrived, hyped up life-style that they only live probably about 20% of the time (I know I have done this). This may often cause us to long for more in life or to be somewhere other than where we are- not to be in the present moment. On the other hand, not all people on social media promote contrived lifestyles; some people actually do live fun, happy, glorious, abundant and prosperous lives. But why are we watching these people live these wonderful lifestyles instead of going out and living them ourselves!?! 

To live a fulfilled life is to be present and in the moment, to be active and attentive. I’m sure that we shine the brightest and enjoy ourselves the most when we give our efforts and attention to others, to tasks and to what is around us, not to social media. I have realized that when I am on social media, I am typically bored and the times when I feel the most alive are when I give my full attention to my friends and family or to those I am meeting for the first time. Instead of avoiding the awkward moments by looking on Facebook, it is more enjoyable if we acknowledge these moments and act to make them more enjoyable.

So with these realizations I call all of us to action. Let us have the courage to face and acknowledge what is right in front of us. Let us not be lazy in our interactions with others and with the world around us. Let us consciously find depth and mean in what and who surrounds us. Let us be present and create life in the moment and not just in our phones and computer screens.

Oh and readers don’t forget… YOU ARE ALIVE TO THRIVE!!

Change, Development and Personal Freedom

The essence of human life is change and development. We are always changing and developing mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. It is part of our nature as human beings to always strive for more, whether it is for a better job, a promotion, to win a championship, to build relationships or to expand our knowledge. Our desire for more is even represented when a man is courting a woman, or vice verse, or through advances and improvements in business and technology. Change and development constitutes being alive; it constitutes living. Why is it our nature to always be changing and developing? It is because we long for personal freedom, which is expressed in living a life we love, experiencing true joy, and having the ability to truly and genuinely express who we are to the world.

With that being said, change is inevitable. The Earth is always moving, the sea gets wider each year, there are both droughts and surpluses, lives are lost while other lives are born, and the sky is always moving, the ocean is never still, seeds are always being planted in soil and trees are always growing. Yes, it is evident that change and development are inevitable. As human beings we are forever changing and developing both physically and emotionally. Unfortunately, however, in many cases these are the only areas in which people change or develop, excluding mental and spiritual growth in their lives.This is because some of us are suppressed by dogma. It is not uncommon to be in an environment or in a relationship that refines our philosophy and oppresses our zeal and the expression of our true selves. Some of the people closest to us - mainly our loved ones, are often the culprits who diminish our fire; they doubt and criticize our ideas, our goals, our dreams and our aspirations. They tell us to behave, to play it safe, and advise us not to take risks. They influence us down a pathway of conformity, which leads us not to life, but to a mental and spiritual death.

Conformity means living in fear of rejection and being caged by the opinions and values of others. This is no way to live because you are not living your own life, but the life someone else has planned for you. For example, we have always been taught to go to school, get good grades and get out and get that high-paying job. This is the way of most of our society. We were told that the better the job, the better the pay, and the better the pay, the better the life. It is sad because so many of us give up our true passions in order to be able to get that “good job.” We were taught that in order to survive, we have to work forty hours a week for forty years of our lives to make an income. We are still taught this today despite the fact that the job market is horrible and that over half of college students are not getting jobs after college. We are still taught this despite the fact that student loan debt is the largest debt in the country, surpassing credit card debt. We all know this, and yet we have been taught no other alternatives and many of us have not tried to find any. We have not been taught alternative ways to not only survive, but to thrive! Now I am in no way proclaiming that school and jobs are bad because they are very beneficial, but what I am expressing is the fact that we as a people continue to do what we have always done. We are at times stuck in our ways and apply what worked in the past to the present and the future. We are often not open to change and development and we expect this of others. This is not the corridor to freedom.

Along with being suppressed by societal dogma, we often put our own lights through self-oppression. Self-oppression is guided by how we think. Understand that our thoughts dictate our feelings, our feelings dictate our actions and our actions dictate our results. With this understanding, we often think negatively of ourselves or of certain situations, which keeps us from advancing; it keeps us stagnant. To go outside the norm, to be different and to truly express ourselves is a risk. Our brains are wired to keep us alive by shielding us from danger and discomfort. This is how we survived evolution, but realize that nothing or no one great ever came from being in a comfort zone.

Greatness, happiness, true joy and true freedom lie outside our comfort zones. It was not easy, for example, for a small-town southern Baptist preacher by the name of Martin Luther King, or a Mexican farm worker by the name of Caesar Chavez to publicly stand up and question a system of oppression that had been plaguing people of color for years. It was not comfortable for civil rights activists to stand up to the Majority, but they did. Now look at what has become of their discomfort and their bravery. Likewise, it is not easy to get up in front of an audience and act, it is not easy to get up in front of thousands of people and show yourself off as a model. This is all true, but look at what has come of actors like Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence, Ellen DeGeneres, or models like Naomi Campbell and Tyra Banks. It is not easy to take a risk and put all of your chips into a single idea, but look at Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs. These are all people who chose to defy the odds and chase their dreams. They have reached a level of personal freedom in that they are doing what they love. You can do it, too!!!!

In pursuing our passions and desires, it calls for us to change and develop into the realms of our physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually higher selves until we are ultimately free. This is living.

You just have to defy and reject the negative voices in your head. If you change your thoughts, you will change your world. You choose who you want to be, you choose what you want to pursue, and you go after it with love, passion and vigor as if your life depends on it, because it does. Know that you deserve greatness. You deserve happiness. You deserve your personal freedom. 

Lastly, recognize that you are alive not just to merely survive, but that YOU ARE ALIVE TO THRIVE!!

Achieving Greatness

The road to achieving Greatness and Success causes us to move outside our comfort zones. It leads us to challenge ourselves mentally emotionally, and even physically. It causes us to defy our limiting beliefs about the world and our limiting beliefs we have of ourselves. The road to Greatness requires that we breakdown that cocoon that is meant to protect us from the scrutiny of the world. On this journey we are subject to a multitude of eyes, and a myriad of thoughts and words that represent the opinions of others. We are susceptible to failure, embarrassment and emotional turmoil. 

For this reason, the road to Greatness takes bravery, it takes strength, it takes dignity and it takes tenacity. We must be the ones willing to leap into the abyss, not knowing if we will make it or not, not knowing of what will come, yet remaining steadfast and driven by our visions of success. But don’t  make the mistake of believing that achieving Greatness takes one big leap, for it is necessary to take small, carefully and consciously planned steps over time. Acting with vigor and with tenacity does not have to be something huge; it can be the slightest action or the slightest risk that breaks down the barrier of our comfort zones. These small steps make all the difference because they add up over time! These small steps make up the latter that will take us to our higher selves; they will lead us to our desired destination, to our visions of success. It takes hard work, time and patience. We must act with patience, persistence, consistency and self-discipline in order to achieve our goals.

So it is evident that the road to Greatness, whatever that is to each of us, is not necessarily easy… but it is definitely worth it! It is a never-ending journey. Why? Because even after we achieve our goals, there is always still more to learn and more to make of ourselves. This may seem like a lot: it may seem nerve-racking, scary, tiring or even impossible. But I encourage you not to shy away from achieving Greatness. My mentor always shared with me that it is not what you get as a result of your journey that matters, it is who you will become along the way. Strive for Success and strive for Greatness, not only for the results, but for what it will make of you! Believe that you can rise to the challenge and you will!!

Always remember… You are ALIVE TO THRIVE!!